RockDocs: The Nation's Favourite Motown Song

There are many pointless things in this world; flies, Police Academy movies, Bryan Adams etc. But none of them really match the sheer desperation of ITV. Everything about it just pisses me off, especially the way they shoe-in references to the rest of their schedule with the most offensively obvious propaganda since Triumph of the Will. I’m not comparing ITV to the Nazis (well, maybe I am a little), but I do have to make this clear right now: I don’t like ITV. I never have. I never will. Loose Women can fuck off. Simon Cowell can fuck off. Piers Morgan can fuck off, come back, and then fuck off again, but HARDER.

Their music programming irks me like no other. They did a special on Elvis last year where they spent more time talking to Gareth Gates about covering Suspicious Minds than they did talking about Suspicious Minds. Lest we forget, Gareth Gates began life on ITV’s own Pop Idol. Not that I’m suggesting that this is why they gave him so much airtime. Except that I am. I am, I am, I am, I am. There! I said it.

So, it was with great trepidation that I approached The Nation’s Favourite Motown Song, the Motown version of The Nation’s Favourite Elvis Song that we sat through last year. Which, in itself, was the Elvis version of The Nation’s Favourite Bee Gees/Abba/Christmas/Dance/[insert whatever in here] Song. Like Elvis and the others, a tie-in album has been released, which essentially makes this whole special one massive advert for the album. But…surprisingly…after bitching about it at length here it wasn’t that bad. In fact it was quite – gulp! – entertaining.

Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t perfect. In the grand tradition of ITV “documentaries”, it wasn’t aimed at fans of the subject. It was aimed at people who think Motown is a style of music rather than a label and that Motown includes The Drifters and Aretha Franklin. It was very much for the ITV audience so if you’re looking to learn something new here, you’re in the wrong place. And, once again, there were some very confusing interview subjects; Michael Bolton? Boyzone? Like, actually, why? Does anyone really care what Ronan Keating thinks about…well…anything? John Newman clearly had the knowledge of a spatula. When was the last time Suzi Quatro was famous? And I found it especially ironic that Pete Waterman was interviewed for the special. If there’s one guy who was able to take Berry Gordy’s theory for making music, but miss the point entirely, it’s Peter Alan Waterman, OBE. But, overall, it was a vast improvement over what they have had in the past.

After narrations from Liza Tarbuck, Rufus Hound, Kate Thornton and The Nation’s Favourite Simpleton (Fearne Cotton), this time around they went for Craig Charles, who is at least a noted Motown fan. His enthusiasm shone through, making it much easier to get caught up in the whole thing. Not that it would be particularly difficult. The music of Motown hits you in a place like no other.

The songs picked were pretty obvious choices for the most part, and I question some of the positions. The Tracks of My Tears at #13? It’s one of the Top 5 songs ever written! And that’s a non-proven unfact! Diana Ross’ version of Ain’t No Mountain High Enough and not Marvin and Tammi’s? What the hell is wrong with you, Britain?

In any case, here’s the unabridged Top 20, you should buy the album if you think Aretha Franklin is Motown. If not, you probably already have them all anyway.

20. Jimmy Mack (Martha & The Vandellas)



19. Uptight (Stevie Wonder)



18. Papa Was a Rolling Stone (The Temptations)



17. What’s Going On? (Marvin Gaye)



16. My Cherie Amour (Stevie Wonder)



15. I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch) (The Four Tops)



14. My Guy (Mary Wells)



13. The Tracks Of My Tears (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles)



12. Reach Out, I’ll Be There (The Four Tops)



11. I Want You Back (Jackson 5)



10. Stop! In The Name of Love (The Supremes)



9. War (Edwin Starr)



8. Baby Love (The Supremes)



7. I’ll Be There (Jackson 5)



6. The Tears of a Clown (Smokey Robinson & The Miracles)



5. My Girl (The Temptations)



4. Dancing In The Street (Martha & The Vandellas)



3. Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (Diana Ross)



2. What Becomes of the Broken Hearted? (Jimmy Ruffin)



1. I Heard It Through The Grapevine (Marvin Gaye)




And finally, just to prove that ITV used to do music programming right, this is the legendary Ready Steady Go! Motown special from 1965 that basically introduced the UK to The Sound of Young America, introduced by Dusty Springfield and featuring The Temptations, Smokey & The Miracles, The Supremes, Martha & The Vandellas, Little Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye tagged onto the end from a different edition (also…for some reason, this video is out of sequence…but still…)

It Appears ITV Are Going To Piss On Motown's Legacy

I hate ITV. I hate everything about it; the lousy, predictable crime dramas. The lousy, predictable talent shows. The lousy, predictable daytime “human interest” talk shows. But most of all, I hate it when they decide to try their hand at music programming. Some of the problems they have are not their fault, per se. On the few occasions they’ve tried festival coverage, it has been incredibly minimal and repetitive. But that’s due to the difficulty they have in acquiring those sorts of rights (unlike the BBC, who have always had a deal with the musician’s union). But they have no excuse for their “documentary” programmes.

I put the word “documentary” in quotation marks because these aren’t really “documentaries”, they’re clip shows. The two most recent ones I can think of is a documentary on Pete Waterman’s Hit Factory and the genesis of the Now That‘s What I Call Music compilations (the subject matters should tell you enough). Do you want to hear what you’ve just been watching said again and again? Great! Because they’ll do it after every ad break, as if you’re an imbecile with an inability to remember what happened 3 minutes ago. Do you want to see Simon Cowell treated as the go-to guy and God of all that is important in music? Great! Because that’s exactly what you’ll get, and not at all because he produces the two cornerstones of their schedule! Do you want to know what Deirdre Barlow from Coronation Street thinks about Bananarama? You do! Excellent…then this is the “documentary” for you. Because, like all ITV shows, what’s the point in having something on your channel, if you can’t promote the rest of your schedule while you’re at it? (That’s actually a trick ITV do all the time; look out for it next time you watch Ant & Dec, or if they do a documentary on the Moors Murders and Peter Andre is one of their interview subjects).

They’ve had a series running called The Nation’s Favourite…. Each time they wheel it out, a different beloved music icon (Abba, the Bee Gees, Elvis, Christmas) is subject to a public vote as to what the nation’s favourite song by that artiste. And by “nation”, of course, I mean X Factor viewers.

I actually watched the Elvis one last year, and was a little taken aback. Here’s what I couldn’t understand; they interviewed Elvis’ wife Priscilla, they interviewed his buddies in the Memphis Mafia, they interviewed members of his band, they interviewed the great Darlene Love (who was, for a time, one of his backing singers), they interviewed his producers…you name it. So why, oh why, did they feel the need to spend an entire segment interviewing Gareth Gates (who was famous 12 years ago) about singing an Elvis song once? Who gives a fuck? Tell us how the songs were written. Tell us Elvis stories. NO-ONE GIVES A TOSS ABOUT GARETH GATES. His mum probably even refers to him as That One From Pop Idol. No, Not Will Young.

So, it’s with great sadness that ITV have announced that this summer they will tackle one of the subjects dearest to my heart; Motown. I assume this tribute to the greatest record label that ever existed is an overdue apology to label founder Berry Gordy, whom Louis Walsh once declared dead rather prematurely on The X Factor back in 2011 (seriously, an expert judge on a supposed music show, folks). I do remember ITV dealing with Motown before, on a special presented by Ian Wright called Motown Mania. It had S Club 7, Dane Bowers, Steps, A1, something called a “Samantha Mumba”. This is the basic, soulless standard;



Yes, it’s ITV’s favourite, Westlife. And it appears they are trying to summon Satan by being bland, boring and showing about as much emotion as a spatula. Not even an emotional spatula. Just a boring fucking spatula

Anywho, the company producing this new special is appropriately named Shiver, and the press release tells us that they are responsible for hard-hitting documentary series, and then has the BALLS to list Paul O’ Grady: For The Love of Dogs, May The Best House Win and Come Dine With Me as being amongst their most popular and respected long-running shows. These things? Really? So, not responsible for BBC Four’s Britannia series? Or some of Sky Art’s excellent interview series? No? Just May The Best House Win, then. In fairness, they did list The Other Side of Jimmy Saville in there too, but that was the only thing that could be seen as hard-hitting. And even that essentially picked up where an unaired Newsnight investigation dropped off.

This is going to be seriously bad. And yet I won’t be able to look away. I can’t help it. I’m drawn to anything with the word “Motown” on it. But, I can take solace in the fact that, no matter how much they rush through interviews with Smokey Robinson, no matter how many times it repeats itself, no matter how predictable the whole shebang might be…at least I might find out what Deirdre Barlow from Coronation Street thought when Diana Ross left The Supremes.