It’s official! 2013 was fucking shit. Shit music, shit movies, shit publicity stunts. The worst part about the overall shittiness of 2013 is the bleak picture it painted for 2014. Breaking Bad ended…how are we supposed to get over that in 2014? Lou Reed died…what rock star is going to be an arrogant arsehole in 2014?
At the very least, the shit things (of which there were many) make you appreciate the good things that little bit more. In the spirit of that, this is my factually accurate Top 25 songs of 2013.
I have purposely not included anything from Sharks’ excellent Selfhood album out of spite, because they broke up and therefore broke my heart (how dare they dangle the carrot of the best British band since Suede in my face and then fuck off after 2 albums and an EP?)
Here we go anyhow…
25. Kiss The Girl (Suburban Legends)
Bit of a novelty to begin with. What’s wrong with something that will just make you smile, eh?
24. The Way I Tend To Be (Frank Turner)
Frank’s latest album has seen him reach a new peak commercially, reaching #2 in the charts, headlining an arena tour, winning Celebrity Mastermind over John Cooper Clarke (there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write)…but, I gotta say, it’s a long way off Love, Ire & Song. It’s good, but it seems to have lost it’s bite. Like a latter day Rolling Stones record; technically OK and perfectly fine…but…you know, Let It Bleed sounds hungry…
23. Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High? (Arctic Monkeys)
Not an Arctic Monkeys fan by any stretch. Although I’ve never had anything against them, I never really got the hype around them. However, whenever I heard this one, I could not get it out of my head.
22. Mirrors (Justin Timberlake)
One of my major problems with Timberlake is that he only has one lyrical topic: how freakin’ awesome he thinks he is. He’s bringing sexy back one minute, his sexual prowess is gonna have you naked by the end of this song the next, and when that happens nobody gonna love you like HE love you. Yeah, whatever. Tosser. In fact, I think I might start calling him Justin Tosserlake, because he does really cunt me off.
Anyhow…at first I thought this would be a whole new beginning for him, because he starts by singing about how awesome someone else is. But then you get to the chorus; “it’s like you’re my mirror”. Damn. So close. Take away the lyrical content, though, and the music is actually pretty good. It’s probably not THAT great and it may just be the surprise at me being able to bear Justin Timberlake. But, I think it deserves it’s place here anyway.
21. Blue Collar Jane (The Strypes)
It’s just great to see 16 year old kids kickin’ out a full out blues rock jam.
20. Everything’s Coming Up Roses (The Replacements)
Technically, this isn’t that great. It’s clumsy, it’s all over the place, it’s a punk band playing an Ethel Murman song. But…that’s the spirit of The Replacements. You either love it or you don’t. And I love The Replacements. So, I love this.
19. Your Life Is A Lie (MGMT)
Hard to believe that this is the same band who had those pop ditties a few years ago.
18. No Expression (The Sufis)
Bit of Psychedelic Pop coming outta Nashville.
17. It Starts And Ends With You (Suede)
2013 was quite the year of comebacks. I guess this was one of the most unexpected. It was nice to see them get some credit when they did come back. Hope the reunion continues.
16. God Is Dead? (Black Sabbath)
This was a big one. Damn, man. Was so cool to see Ozzy and Iommi standing next to each other.
15. Screwdriver (Prince)
Nothing to do with the fascist neo-Nazi band of the same name. Nice to see Prince can still rock it at times. EYE’M UR DRIVER, UR MY SCCRRREEEEWWWWWW.
14. Blew Up This House (Jonny Lang)
Jonny’s been away for a while. He came back last year with an album that was kinda patchy. His vocals and playing were as strong as ever, though, and he sounds far more experienced than the average 35 year old. He sounds like he’s been around the block, like he’s lived. This was the opening track on the album, and maybe the strongest cut.
13. We Be Kings (Dave Hause)
Total Springsteenian Americana.
12. Heartbreaker (Motorhead)
Lemmy’s had a tough year, but by fuck is that man resilient. Aftershock was Motorhead’s 21st album, and it’s kickin’ and screamin’. Their best since 2005’s Inferno and their most varied since the early 90s (though, admittedly, “varied” isn’t really a word you should associate with Motorhead).
11. Diane Young (Vampire Weekend)
I like that this is only very slightly off-centre. It sounds like it’s not at first, but it goes a way you only just about don’t expect it to, which makes it more the odder, especially as a single.
10. Pelvis Pusher (Vintage Trouble)
Vintage Trouble are still releasing special editions of their debut LP instead of releasing a new one. This was a bonus track on a new special edition. It’s been three years now, guys. Get to work!
9. Treasure (Bruno Mars)
Bruno Mars is an odd one. I know he’s talented, but he doesn’t really use the talent to it’s potential. And this year he proved to be better when he is pretending to be other people rather than being himself; Locked Out Of Heaven’s rip-off of The Police was actually pretty good, When I Was Your Man was a surprisingly tender piano ballad, and then there was this. No doubt released as a single on the back of Get Lucky’s success, it’s pure Philly soul. He followed it up with Gorilla, which ripped off Prince and was so bad that I can’t even be bothered to think of a fucking metaphor to relate how bad it is to you.
8. Bullshit (Adam Ant)
Another comeback. Album was difficult to get into because of the unorthodox production, but this one stood out immediately. Plus, we can all relate.
7. The Dream’s In The Ditch (Deer Tick)
A song in the Tom Petty vain that is better than anything Petty himself has done SINCE 1994'S Wildflowers.
6. Come To My Party (Black Joe Lewis)
THIS is how I do R&B. Complete funk-jam. Nuff said.
5. Valentine’s Day (David Bowie)
Bowie’s return was nothing if not spectacular. But what the hell can I say about this that hasn’t already been said? First single Where Are We Now? was a grower rather than something that would grab you, which made it an odd choice. But there was plenty of that on the album, and the song itself was much better in context with the rest of the album. In fact, that goes for most of it. The album as a whole was better than any of the individual songs. So, I picked this one out. Just because.
4. Get Lucky (Daft Punk ft Pharrell Williams & Nile Rodgers)
It is VERY rare that I would place a song that was THIS successful so highly. There’s a number of reasons for this; overexposure and the overall crappiness of the singles chart amongst them. BUT…even though I did get a bit sick of this at the height of it’s popularity…credit where credit’s due. It IS awesome. And it brought Nile Rodgers back into the collective consciousness, which can only be a good thing. Finally, here we had a dance song with a GROOVE, something that dance music has completely forgotten to do in the days of the electro rave-up.
Interestingly, someone said to me that Daft Punk sold out with Random Access Memories. I counter that. When they were recording the album in 2012, how could they have thought that 70s disco would be insanely popular in 2013? It’s one of the revivals I, for one, wasn’t expecting. It’s the success of this single that made 70s disco popular again.
Also…just like to point out: big hit with no video. It CAN be done.
3. St Valentine’s Day Massacre (The Twylight Zones)
The Twylight Zones are a fictional band from Soprano’s Creator David Chase’s movie debut, Not Fade Away, and the song was written by the E Street Band’s Stevie Van Zandt. And, in typical Stevie fashion, it’s awesome.
2. Bird Balloons (Lady Lamb The Beekeeper)
I don’t even know how to describe this. “Interesting” is maybe the most apt terminology. Stuff like this would never chart, and we’re worse off for it.
1. PrimeTime (Janelle Monae ft Miguel)
I was disgusted that this wasn’t a bigger hit. This is cool, sexy, jammin’, classy and with an awesome video. Shit, I think Janelle Monae might be too good for radio. This completely enchanted me when I first heard it, and it seems people in the know agree judging by the sheer amount of covers of this song that have made their way onto You Tube. I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there…please make this a hit, Superman.
And that was the good stuff of 2013...join me next time when I'll be counting down the very best bread manufacturers of the last 12 months.
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